While the Winter Olympics play out in tape-delayed fashion, we’ve got plenty of daylight hours to ponder what might have been. NBC could have decided to show more events live, Johnny Weir‘s credit card could have been declined, or the IOC could have decided to shake things up and add some winter sports people might actually get into.
Instead of the lame lamé of ice dancing, we could have been treated to the drama of ice fishing. We’d watch in awe as competitors construct “portable ice fishing huts” in their specially designed Nike-branded “ice fishing gear” while baiting their “ice fishing lures.” Who’s to say watching a guy saw a hole in the ice is any less interesting than watching a couple in matching sequined costumes trip the ice fantastic?
Or how about the 100m snowshoe? We’d take that over the boring biathlon all seven days of the week. Snowshoeing was a demonstration sport in 2002, but we think a speedy return in the form of a winner-takes-all snowshoe sprint is in order. If you’re ready to compete at Vancouver 2010, you might want to start boning up on “snowshoe basics” and “snowshoeing history.”
Finally, we’d finish off with a high-octane snowmobile race. We all remember James Bond whipping through the pines in The Spy Who Loved Me. Who doesn’t want to see that sort of excitement every four years? Environment, shmenvironment. If you were racing bad guys, wouldn’t you rather have the thrust of a high-powered snowmobile over the old timey 19th-century push of a bobsled? While searches on “used snowmobiles” or “snowmobile parts” might not get you to the games, we do recommend some practice on the popular “wisconsin snowmobile trails” and “michigan snowmobile trails.”
If the IOC is listening, we’re here — let us know what you think. We smell a ratings bonanza in 2010, or perhaps we’re just sniffing snowmobile exhaust…
Filed under: Sports, Winter Olympics
